My interview with Wolfgang Laib at Art in America

Wolfgang Laib's sculptural materials include beeswax, pollen, stone, milk, and rice. Beeswax is used in large amounts to build towering ziggurat sculptures and caves, such as the one he constructed in the French Pyrenees, which is accessible only by footpath. Pollen, on the other hand, is available in only small amounts, and he collects it over many years from the bushes and wildflower fields surrounding his exquisite German home.  For him, these substances are not a means toward creating art, but the art itself.

Though trained as a doctor, Laib changed his direction after medical school and began creating his now iconic milkstones, slabs of polished marble with a thin meniscus of fresh milk sitting atop their surfaces. His work emits a subtle spiritual resonance, as does Laib himself, who speaks simply and with monastic restraint. In addition to his family's home in Germany, he divides his time between an apartment in Manhattan and a small village in India. 

Laib and I met in the atrium at MoMA, where his largest hazelnut pollen installation is installed through March 11th. He will continue to maintain and clean the pollen every few days until the exhibition closes, at which point he will retrieve the material and recycle it into his next installation.

ROSS SIMONINI How did you come to being an artist?

WOLFGANG LAIB I began to study medicine, but I was dissatisfied with it. The more I went into the world, the more I felt that art is the most important thing, and therefore I became an artist. 

SIMONINI Why did you think art is important? 

LAIB Because, somehow, it includes everything. Medicine is a natural science, and politics does a certain thing, but art is something that is so open, and has so many potentials. I think science can be incredibly good, but it’s very narrow.

SIMONINI How do you view the current art world?

LAIB I feel much more close to art which happened 2000 years ago in Asia or in Africa, or wherever. I think we came to the point where every other year, or every other week, something has to happen. But that’s a disaster. And somehow, I feel the opposite. I feel like when I go to the Metropolitan Museum, I feel very close to something 2000 years old. Like Egyptian art, or a Mesopotamian art, or something which is very far from our own culture, but which is a challenge to our thinking.

SIMONINI For you, does your work have a relationship to 20th century art?

LAIB No. Of course, an art historian can say, this has a relationship to Joseph Beuys, which is most probably correct, but from my side, it’s very important to create something out of my inner self. 

SIMONINI Do you feel any connection to Germany? 

LAIB No. The Germans don’t want to be German at all, but there is a very long tradition of German philosophy, and German thought  which I am very close to.

SIMONINI Would you be able to describe this thought? 

LAIB Somehow searching for the essence of life, or our existence. 

SIMONINI Would you say that there is a lot of thought and philosophy in your work? 

LAIB I mean, you could see a pollen piece and you could see a visual experience. It’s an incredible color, like you can’t see anywhere else, but if art would be only a visual thing, or a color, or a pigment, I wouldn’t be an artist, I wouldn’t want to be an artist. A milkstone is not a white painting, and a pollen field is not a yellow painting, like Rothko’s. It’s something much, much more. And it’s also not a blue painting. It’s like the blue sky. 

SIMONINI But at the same time, you seem resistant to talking about your art in terms of the thought behind it–

LAIB I want to leave it open. Therefore I would never give a really honest talk. It’s also not very important what I feel is behind the work. It is what it is. It’s not even important what I have to say about it. It’s important that I put it into this context, into the art world. 

SIMONINI Do you have a resistance to language?

LAIB No, I think from the artist’s side, if I were to say too much, but from the outside, there can be–

SIMONINI Lots of language? 

LAIB Yes. 

SIMONINI That doesn’t bother you? Critical discourse about your work?

LAIB Not at all.

SIMONINI A lot of connections are made between your practice as a doctor and your work. Do you think you apply the kind of thinking you learned in school to your work?

LAIB I think I never changed my profession. I feel I did with my art what I wanted to do as a doctor. That is for me, very important. And somehow people from the outside, think that it is totally separate, but for me it is not. And I could not have done this work without studying medicine. The milkstone was really the direct answer to my medical studies. There was so much tension built up, over these years, and I could finally say everything I wanted to say, in a very simple artwork. The doctor today is somehow responsible for your physical body, he makes your lab tests and this and that, but beyond this, he has no idea how to handle the person.

SIMONINI You often use the word “beautiful” to describe your work. 

LAIB Artists hate that word, especially German artists. If you wanted to be really hated in Germany, then you would say, ‘my work is beautiful.’ German artists believe in ugliness, and to be ugly and to be nasty. I think beauty can be something extremely important in our lives. And it’s not true that this is naïve. This is what is the most needed: inner beauty and outer beauty, which is an incredible challenge for us. 

SIMONINI Are you interested in your work as affecting larger groups of people, in some way, as a social change? Is this interesting to you? 

LAIB Yes. I find such a pollen piece here, in the main space of MoMA, is a real statement, no only by me, by the artist, but also by the museum. This is something which is very challenging. It seems so simple, it’s just a yellow square, but if you really think what it is, and what is behind it, then it’s a real challenge to everything in the world. So it’s a real social challenge, on many levels.

SIMONINI Have you seen work that has been a sort of catalyst for the change you are interested in?

LAIB I find that art is always much more important than politics. There are wars, and the kings do this or that, but I think art and culture had much more impact on the changing of humanity.

Read it at Art in America

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Kiki and Bobo

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My Sunset Television profile in the New York Times

On the Internet found material is often recycled as comedy: a decade-old commercial, a foreign music video, an amateur’s footage from the zoo. But for the Brooklyn comedy troupe Sunset Television the opposite is true. Its videos are meant to play like artifacts discovered in serpentine YouTube searches.

Take the sketch “Real Life Exorcisms,” from 2011, a 3-minute-20-second video modeled on paranormal reality shows like “Ghost Hunters”: the sound design, captions and mood are indistinguishable from the material it parodies. The absurd story, however, includes a dog medium and a possessed girl whose garbled monologue is recorded and played in reverse by a priest to reveal nonsense: “I like diamonds. And cats and sports. And, uh, awesome tattoos. Lesbian Tattoos.” The YouTube page includes the faulty description, “%100 REAL EXORCISM FOOTAGE.”

Like much of Sunset Television’s work the humor is poker faced, and most of the 3,865 comments posted online involve earnest questions about authenticity. Approaching eight million views now, the video, also available via thegroup’s Web site, is by far its most popular, and the comedians embrace the utterly confused response.

“In the beginning Sunset aimed to blur the lines between fact and fiction,” Karrie Crouse, the group’s only female member, said recently at Mother’s, a bar in Williamsburg where group members often meet to discuss new ideas. “We wanted the videos to feel excavated, difficult to date or place in a particular culture.”

She and the other members — Drew Blatman, Alex Goldberg, Graham Mason, all in their late 20s or early 30s — met in 2007 in the graduate film program at Columbia University. There they made 7- to 15-minute collages that appeared to be transmissions from a twisted, satirical dimension of television: footage from school projects and appropriated Internet material were edited into a slurry of bizarre commercials, film trailers, old-fashioned public-service announcements and other slivers of televised culture, most of which lasted around a minute or two.

“It was kind of like being in a band at times,” Mr. Blatman said. “We’d get together and just jam on found footage. It still feels that way.”

The group produced five such episodes from 2008 to 2010, each constructed as a channel-surfing stream of jokes. Actors were hired from Craigslist, sometimes for explicit scenes (like eating a sandwich, naked while crying) — a process also used by “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!,” whose lo-fi stylized look was an influence on Sunset Television.

“The great thing about being on the Internet is nobody can cancel us,” Ms. Crouse said, laughing.

In 2011 Pitchfork, the music Web site, reran the group’s early episodes, and financed shorter, more narrative-leaning sketches. Noting that the videos had a kinship with the music of artists like Ariel Pink and R. Stevie Moore, known for their low-fidelity aesthetic, R J Bentler, Pitchfork’s vice president for video programming said, “I thought maybe there could be a connection with our audience.”

The group’s association with music circles got the attention of Beirut, the Balkan-influenced band started by Zach Condon, who commissioned two bittersweet, nostalgic music videos. “I remember watching what went up on their Web site on a weekly basis,” Mr. Condon said. “Whole evenings with my friends were devoted to recognizing every subtle underhanded joke and absurdity in their videos.”

Though they consider themselves a comedy group, the members of Sunset TV aren’t connected to the New York stand-up or improv scenes, partly because their brand of humor is based on filmmaking, not live performance. Sunset Television builds on the work of sketch television standouts like the State, Kids in the Hall and Mr. Show. What’s funny about the Sunset videos is the group’s ability to replicate the details in genres like Czech New Wave and television crime drama, both in writing and in cinematic technique. “For a comedy group we’re not as concerned with L.P.M.,” or laughs per minute, Ms. Crouse said, “which makes the whole project a little more complicated.”

Some members of the group act more, some shoot more, but all four are involved in every step of the process, from pitching to postproduction. They also have their own outside projects: Mr. Goldberg and Mr. Blatman are members of Weird Days, a production firm that recently finished videos for the singer Santigold. Mr. Goldberg also has a small role this season in the HBO series “Girls,” and Mr. Blatman is working on a documentary about jai alai. Ms. Crouse wrote (with the director Martha Stephens) and acted in the independent feature, “Pilgrim Song,” and Mr. Mason is a screenwriter.

The group’s most recent project is “Two Cops,” a six-episode Web series that emphasizes understated acting and narrative over the manic collage of its early work. The videos are disguised as a fly-on-the-wall documentary from 1981 during a supposedly recessionary New York in which police officers in financial straits are ordered to share living quarters. The show never leaves the apartment of the two cops: Charlie Doogayn (“a nut for the details”) and the PCP-addicted Ricardo Martinez (“a real loose cannon — the only thing he loves more than motorbikes is his sister”), played with unflinching earnestness by Mr. Mason and Mr. Goldberg, who are both new to acting.

Though the setup is akin to fake documentaries like “The Office,” the pacing is slower and the look is bleaker, deliberately reminiscent of documentaries like Frederick Wiseman’s “Hospital” from 1970. And the sad sack officers call to mind “Louis” and other melancholic television comedies.

The series, which cost a grand total of $400, was filmed entirely in Mr. Blatman’s apartment, allowing for an unhurried, improvisational approach. “On ‘Two Cops’ we used the first 10 takes just trying to figure out how the characters speak,” Mr. Goldberg said.

Though there are no plans for Sunset Television to make the leap to actual television, the members are increasingly drawn toward the emotional breadth of continuing story lines. “Initially we wanted the work to feel as if it were totally found,” Mr. Mason said. “But these days we’re owning up to the fact that we’re making it. We’re putting ourselves in there.”

Read it at the Times

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The Walking Dead Season 3 Liveblog! Episode 11: I ain't a Judas

Hey there!

We're certain that you, just like us, have been sitting on the edge of your seat since the end of last week's episode! It was a real nail biter, no? I mean, seriously... Who is it that's telling somebody else (in very poor grammar) that they're not a judas? Who, really, who? I mean, it could be Daryl, but we know that Reedus is a Judas, right?

i mean, unless the writers are willing to ignore such obvious things.

so we guess it could be Merle, right?

He's not going to betray anyone, right?

And he can't really do no talking not so good, huh?

Meh, just 'cause, here's Daryl again, before Z-Day.

life's easier now, huntin' squirrels.

Anywho, it seems like we're on the verge of a whole lot of messiness going down in these next few episodes, and it's a safe bet it starts picking up here, no? There are only five episodes left after all. 

Lots of questions to be answered (as per usual) in Georgia tonight.

Will Rick and the Prison Gang retaliate to the Governor's attack?

How will Andrea cope with the knowledge that her friends are alive, and were attacked?

Is Merle going to be able to adapt to life in prison? (heh, see what I did there?)

this guy clearly never saw any of the Evil Dead films OR Planet Terror

- excellent examples of coping with your new body during the zombpacalypse...

...or wait. maybe he's just confused, 'cause he has all those bad-ass stabby attachments

And seriously! Just who in the world isn't a judas, anyway?

We NEED to know.

8:15 - not sure if you guys are into this sort of stuff, but you're early, so what they hey.

we're doing an Oscars liveblog sort of, around our usual Walking Dead business. Feel free to check it out if you're interested. It's good fun!

8:30 - don't worry now, we understand the whole oscars thing is off-putting when you're watching biters get mashed. our focus will be here as much as possible. i mean, we've had some to drink, but that doesn't usually stop us. you better make sure you're stocked up though - today's episode is brought to you by james ready, mill st belgian witt and mad tom by muskoka brewery.

8:45 - hot damn, we're excited. we're told there's a special guest on The Talking Dead this week. Usually that means someone's dead.

8:55 - holee! yay. so soon. now.

9:00 - so, a lot of stuff has happened to bring us to this point.


whelp, the gang is discussing leaving versus staying.

merle tries to scare them off attacking the governor.

"that truck through the fence thing? that's him ringing the door bell."

merle paints a pretty dirty picture of what could happen.

they want to lock him up, but daryl doesn't want that.

9:01 - "we can't just sit here," hershel says. rick takes off.

"get back here!" hershel screams.

"you've been slipping, we've all seen that...you said this wasn't a democracy any more, so live up to that. i trusted my family to you. get your stuff together."

wow, hershel! nice.

9:02 - rick's outside, a bunch of walkers on the fences.
ever notice they all sound the same.

rick seems to be scouting the perimeter, searching for signs of others.
he sees something on the edge of the brush.

carl joins him.

"you shouldn't be out here," rick says.

carl takes his hat off.

"i'm a good shot."

"yes you are."

"hey dad, if i say something, will you promise not to get mad?"

carl goes on. "you should stop. stop being the leader. let hershel and daryl handle things. you need a rest."

mmm, and here comes that theme song.

wow, your boy is "manning up" more than you now, rick. given the conventions of masculinity in this show, that must peeve you. lori would be proud.

commercial

9:07 - back at Woodbury, the Governor and Milton are going over numbers of their population, trying to make an army it seems.

"maybe we include men and women ages thirteen and up," the governor says.
"you mean teenagers?"
"adolescents. a 21st century invention."

shit, andrea busts in, angry about the attack at the prison. Governor claims he went to negotiate.
She calls out Milton for knowing about it beforehand.
The Governor tells her not to drag him into it.

"I'm sick of this. Sick of the lies, and I'm not going to watch my friends and this town shoot each other down."

Andrea wants to go talk to the Prison.
The Governor wants to build an army.

He says the roads are blocked and they barely made it back themselves.

Andrea goes to leave and he calls her back.

"Andrea: you go that that prison, you stay there."

9:10 - People are catching wind of the Governor's army, and asking Andrea to intervene. Fuck.

9:11 - Back at the Prison, they're discussing fixing their fence.
Michonne talked!!!
we're so excited, we missed the actual line.

man, FUCK!

(link)

Rick's group seems in dire straights. They're held up, they're low on supplies, and half of the group is pissed that Merle is there.

"seriously Rick, I don't think Merle living here is going to fly," Glenn says. Then he goes on about never asking Rick to live with Shane.  Glenn wants to trade Merle to the Gov.

9:12 - Hershel and Merle have a moment as amputees.

Hershel is a boss.

Merle asks Hershel how he lost it.

"I got bit."
"And you chopped it off yourself?"
"No, Rick did."

They go on to argue about whether or not Rick is a good guy before Hershel pulls a bible on Merle. They share some psalms. Merle knows the goodbook.

Blegh, screw the bible, guys.

Merle goes on the explain the order in which the Governor will murder people, and how evil he is

9:14 - then we cut back to the Governor and his draft.
Andrea stands in the background like a pinup model on an urban fantasy book cover as the Gov surveys his troups.
He turns away an elderly woman but takes a young asthmatic.

9:15 - Carol thanks Daryl for coming back to the prison.

"For what, coming back to all this?"
"This is our home."
"This is a tomb, " he replies.

Carol tells Merle to not let Daryl bring him down.

Hey, how does Daryln maintain that beard?

aww, there's a cute laugh and the scene breaks.

9:16 - back at Woodbury's walls, Andrea is quite attractive and Milton tells her the wall is safe.

"I'm going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest," she says. "The fight at the prison, you didn't know about it?"

"I would never advocate a move like that, it's just posturing."
Andrea!!  That is not a no.  Weren't you supposed to be a lawyer?  Seriously.

Andrea asks him to cover for her while she visits the Prison as a result.
She pleads with Milton to realize the error of Woodbury's Child-Soldier ways.

Milton needs to realize Andrea wants to mediate.

9:17 - nice, fun scenes with the Gov and that eye. He really ain't keeping that so clean.

Oh, man. Milton's here. He's here to narc on her.

"She's going back to the prison and is requesting my assistance in doing so, her words, not mine."

"Help her."

"Do you really want to help her, or is this a test?" man, Govs is scary.

"She asked for help, help her." wow.

scary. then we go to commercialz.

9:23 - we're back with a walker strolling through the field.

andrea is heading to the prison with help from milton, who is like a weak-ass blue ranger.

anyway, andrea hacks the arm off?

i think she's creating her own pets, ala michonne? nice nice.
it's nasty and brutal. this show's pretty awesome.

oh fuck, she's curb stomping it.  on a skull.  that's fucking rough.

another phil dunphy looking motherfucker shows up and she axes it.

a loose walker seems to be on them just as she's claiming her pet, but tyrese et al show up and lend some helping hands.

9:25 - Michonne is doing hardcore sit-ups in the prison.
Carol is watching?
Merle goes to make peace.

"smart to stay fit. keep up the cardio."

he says trying to kill her was just business.

"i done a lot of things i ain't proud of, before and after... anyway, i hope we can get past it. let bygones be bygones."

she doesn't look like she's biting.

9:26 - tyrese's crew is pretty weirded out by andrea's tactic.
they tell tyrese's group about woodbury.
Milton offers to take them back, and Andrea carries on on her own.

These poor people.

Tyrese offers help for her, but she's got her guardian angel and is okay.

commercial time.

9:31 - shit. Andrea is approaching the Prison. Carl might see her.

Nice shots.

He alerts hot shot Maggie to take a look through her rifle.
Shit, Maggie recognizes Andrea. She tells Carl to get the others.

9:32 - great scene of Andrea rocking through the courtyard with her pet.

Rick and his group run to the fence, armed to the teeth. everybody's on high alert for Andrea.

"ARE YOU ALONE?!" Rick screams at her.

9:33 - they open the gates and Rick cop frisks her, cause he's good like that.
A walker almost gets her through the fence.

RIck gets her down on the ground in front of everyone.

"I asked if you were alone," Rick says.

Then there's a bunch of awkwardness before Rick barks "welcome back," and tells her to get up.

9:34 - inside Carol acts as though she's seen a ghost. nice. a proper reaction.

"we thought you were dead."

Andrea reacts to seeing everyone.

"Hershel, what happened."

she looks around.

"Where's Shane?" nobody responds.
"Where's Lori."
"She had a girl, she didn't survive," says Hershel.
"Neither did T-Dog," Carol says.

Andrea doesn't know who to comfort.

"You all live here?"
"There in the cell block," Glen says.

9:35 - We play some he-said she-said between the Governor and Rick, about who shot first.
Glen's pretty angry about what happens.

Andrea's angry at Michonne now.

"What have you told them?" she asks

Fuck, she refers to the Governor as Phillip.

"we have to work this out," she says.
"There's nothing to work out," Rick says, "we're going to kill him."

Andrea says there's room at Woodbury for everyone.

"You know better than that," Merle says.

Andrea breaks down and explains that she came to tell them The Governor is gearing up for war. Daryl says he's taking his other eye. Glenn says they're ready for war. The Prison is angry and ready.

"You want to make this right," Rick says, "get us inside"

"No, there are innocent people," Andrea retorts.

Yeah, and these people in the Prison are criminals, right?

heh.

commercial.

drink.

9:41 - Andrea and Michonne have a nice chat upon their reunion.
Andrea claims the gov ain't so evil and that Michonne is wacked.

"You chose a warm bed over a friend."

Michonne tells Andrea that the Governor sent Merle after her, and would have sent Merle after Andrea if she followed along. Michonne says that's why she went back: to expose the Governor for what he really is.

9:43 - oh, man. Tyrese's group is at Woodbury.
They're skirting the issue of the prison group, and how they're dangerous.

Gov obviously paints the Prison crew as evil.

"When you leave, don't go north, go west."

"We just came from there, met some whackjob in a prison."

Oh, the Governor perks up at the mention of all of that.
Wow, Tyrese's group pledges allegiance to Woodbury in all of this.

"Whatever we gotta do to earn our keep," Tyrese says.

Milton goes on trying to get a layout of the Prison.
Oh, this probably isn't good for Rick et al.

9:45 - back at the Prison, Andrea meets L'il Asskicker.

"Let me guess, Daryl named her Asskicker."
"That's not her real name. It's Judith," Carol tells her.

Andrea asks about what happened to Lori, she explains the C-Section gone awry.
Andrea then asks about Shane and Carol explains that to her too.

"Rick's become cold, and unsteady," Andrea says.
"He has his reasons," Carol says.

Then she suggests that Andrea fucks the Governors brains out and then kill him. Or at least let the Prison Gang do it. Whoa.

9:47 - Rick offers up a car to Andrea, who is apparently headed back to Woodbury?
Yeaaah, that's a great fucking idea.

"Can you spare it," she questions.

"Yeah." Rick says.

"Well then, take care."

Rick stops her before she goes and gives her a gun.
That's kind of sweet, but why the fuck are they sending her off?
Is this exile or infiltration?

9:48 - Merle opens up the gate for her and she drives off into the wilderness, Walkers lagging behind.
Finally a dirty car.

Nice shot here. Quite cinematic.

commercials. drink.

9:53 - back at the walls of Woodbury, a car approaches.  It's Andrea, obviously.
They tell her to get out of the car with her hands up.
This is obviously going to play out well.

9:53 - okay, sure. we cut to her in the Governor's suite, him listening to a cool-ass retro tape deck.

"I went to the Prison," she tells him. "They're broken. Living in terrible conditions."

"Is Michonne there? Merle?" he drinks. "What about Rick? He send you back there?"

The Governor is a real prick, eh? and this is creepy.

"No, that was my call," she tells him.

"Why?" he asks.

then he takes a swig and gets up, wiping the tear off her cheek.

"Because you belong here," he says.

Then they start making out, 'cause that's...awesome.
Is this what Carol advised?

9:55 - back at the Prison, it's night time. People sit around silently and Rick walks around with little Judith. Then Beth starts singing, and I guess it's time for another one of those heart-warming "everybody sing!" scenes that walking dead has once a season. except, it's happened this season.

oh well, beth can sing pretty well.

9:57 - the group's elders discuss the dangers of Andrea.
Rick says he's going on a run tomorrow.
Daryl offers to come with him, but Rick tells him to stay back and watch a Merle.

"I'm really glad you're back, but if he causes a problem, it's on you."

Rick says he'll take Michonne.
Whoa, speaking lines and actual responsibilities? It's almost like Michonne is a useful member of the team.
(and a fan favourite from the comics?)

These dudes talk shop a little more. Carl's outside by himself, evidently, watching the walkers. Carl is awesome.  though i still find it weird how he's given so much responsibility compared to some of the adults.

Then we get some dude singing the song that Beth was singing, and a montage of the two camps.
Andrea's clearly just having "ummed" the governor.

(link)

Man, this half Leonard Cohen, half Bob Dylan dude is weak. What a crappy song to use for an outro. I'm quite disliking the concept of so much source music in the show - please, you have bear mcreary - just let the dude write music for you.

Oh shit, naked-Andrea goes for a knife and goes at sleeping Gov at the end here.
It turns out she can't do it though, and after standing over the Governor for a little bit she walks to a window and the episode ends. Nice.

10:00 - well, I guess they have, in their way, continued moving the plot along ever so slowly. Continuing to have different groups of people meet up slowly is pretty awesome, and the various issues of infighting are pretty neat, but this one felt like it could have moved a little more quickly, and maybe cleanly, 'cause it had some iffy bits. also, it's pretty frustrating the the writers have literally zero idea of what to do with Andrea, and basically have her chasing dudes during the entire zombpacalypse. Smooth. Between Lori and Andrea, it's pretty obvious someone on the writing staff isn't a big fan of the "women folk."

10:11 - hey, we hope you're enjoying the talking dead, but if you're so inclined, we've returned to our Oscars liveblog, which you may enjoy too, y'know?

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2013 Oscars LiveBlog!

Welcome, Bienvenue!

it's party time!!

We're back for our second ever Oscars liveblog, which, coincidentally means we're celebrating our one-year anniversary as a Blog tonight! Technically we're a little bit late, as our first post was about the movie Bridesmaids and was on February 21st, but whatever! Here we are!

It'll be a busy night for us, as we'll be pulling double duty - liveblogging this, and The Walking Dead. We're not entirely sure how that'll all play out, but we know it's going to be fun.

Are you excited? Got your drinks, and your pool selections all made?

From walking the red carpets to getting played off stage, we'll have (almost)every moment of the star studded action!

Jump with us to get started!




7:00 - welcome to the Red Carpet - this aspect of the pre-show is going to be our bread and butter (we are not excited about Seth McDoucheland) . Since this is a party, and we're sure the stars have begun to imbibe, we advise you do too! it'll make it all the more fun. feel free to make up your own games at home, or have drinks at whatever random intervals we decide here. cheers!

in case you're curious, we'll be switching between american and canadian feeds, featuring kristen chenoweth and ben mulroney a less handsome jeff winger ryan seacrest as our hosts.

funny stuff - kristen chenoweth thinks the red carpet is 2000 of her.
kelly rowland is there too.

oh, and as per usual, the carpet seems almost magenta.

7:03 - melissa mccarthy is on the canadian red carpet feed, over on E! she has a neat little grey deal. her husband is wearing "a tuxedo." ha! she's wearing david meister.

oh, hey - look, it's jennifer hudson. she's got a neat little blue number.

then E! switches to perez hilton and kelly osborne.

so, they cut to jennifer lawrence, who is in an epically pretty white train thing. boom.

we also see amanda seyfriend in an exquisite alexander mcqueen - it's damn nice.

7:05 - kerry washington  is wearing a very classy red number, we approve.


7:06 - oh hey, kelly rowland is interviewing channing tatum and jenna dewan-tatum. they're a well-dressed couple. that's a pretty impressive maternity dress. they talk about babies more, meh.

7:07 - on the way to commercial we see charlize theron and amy adams, each looking rather dream-worthy.
shit, did i say commercial? drink.

7:10 - we're back with amanda seyfried who is in a crazily beautiful mcqueen in which "she can't sit down," and feels like she'll lose her organs. she likes corsets. so do we. she talks about costumes, periods, bloating and corsets? then kristen chenoweth casts her on broadway?

then they open up a bit.

there's oscar history there?
it's a thing in a box, and it's made of over 2000 individual components.

gorgeous amanda seyfried guesses a head. *shrug*
she's so marvellous.

7:12 - Quvenzhane Wallis is there in a wicked little dress. They drop that she's been cast as the new Annie.

"so you can sing too?"
"i guess"

ha!
her purse is a puppy in its own little dress, by the way.

7:13 - there are some pretty cool bits about the fasions of hollywood and red carpets, featuring some drawings of old pieces. we now go to a documentary featuring like, vera wang, dian von ferstenburg and michael kors, some marchesa people...

...cool, i guess.

filler stuff. drink.

7:16 - jennifer lawrence is here, talking about bears shitting in woods, being friends with sally field and wearing an awesome damn dress from haute couture dior.

7:17 - zoe soldana is here in a wonderful piece with a great hem.
just as to note though, umm, nina simone's family didn't want that movie made. just sayin'.

so, i turned it.

7:18 - back on E! (with maybe seacrest) anne hathaway is here. she looks damn elegant, talking about marriage and vegan ice cream. her seams are a liiiittle confusing.

anyway, they start talking about party games - drink - before we find out she's wearing prada. it's not bad. a little chesty.

7:19 - naomi watts is there, looking super shiny with a lot of cut outs. liev schreiber is there too. meh. they're cool i guess. seriously though, the asymmetry of her dress is pretty cool.


7:20 - back with kristen chenoweth catherine zeta-jones and michael douglas are there. she looks fantastic, like a golden goddess. her dress is a great piece of golden fun with a little flute on the bottom.

7:21 - oh shit, it's daniel radcliffe - in a bow tie? bow ties are cool.

y'know, danny is british

his eyebrows are pretty darned effed.  i love them.

7:23 - oh, a commercial? drink

coming back, we learn that on the twitters, jennifer lawrence is currently trending as the best dressed, followed by amy adams and amanda seyfried.

then we have a little segment about "oscar"... okay.
boring filler segment?
drink.

7:27 - oh, good. bradley cooper is here.

E! goes to their fashion panel, and i need some more to drink.

7:31 - some time later we wind up with reese witherspoon. her deep blue number with a bunch of black accentuation. it's pretty dope. then she starts talking about some movie that i have no interest in.

oh, then joseph gordon-levitt is there - it's his first oscars! he talks loud. slicking the hair back all 30's style is pretty big for the men this year. oh, that and bow ties. yup. his socks are cute and don't match apparently.

7:33 - now we go to another one of these pre-packed dealies.
drink.

commercial after?
well, drink again.

7:40 - oh, good! more style panels!

yes, jennifer anniston is definitely relevant to the oscars.

oh, good. time for the contradictory nature of stylists and fashion gurus. "take chances!" "this is too out there!"

that said, these fashion police people give us a pretty good shot of nicole kidman's super awesome black sleeveless number. it looks fun. black with golden jeweled aspects. shut up, you fashion punks.

hey, does keith urban travel through time to get these haircuts? in an australian delorean?

oh yes.

7:45 - adele looks nice tonight, but a little conservative. that's her bag though. super retro.  we dig it.

7:47 - oh hey, look. it's ben affleck and jennifer garner. ben affleck looks like he's trying to channel dave grohl. (dat beard). jennifer garner looks like she's trying to be purple and beautiful. one of them is succeeding.

wait. discussions about beards v beards? resulting in casual homophobia?

yo, drink.

7:50 - well, hugh jackman is wearing a tuxedo. like all the dudes! surprise!

kristen chenoweth asks him and his wife about that there box thing.
oh, it was given as a gift.
they can't say to who.

ha!

hugh jackman references se7en! people are awesome.
umm, they guess handcuffs.  why?

7:52 - chris evans is here, with his mom, it seems? that's sweet.

7:53 - so, we're late to the party, but yay for robert de niro, grace hightower and interracial marriages.


7:54 - whelp, daniel radcliffe has switched feeds. that's pretty awesome, i guess. he's back. he's overwhelmed and he's no authority on the horse meat scandal.

watch out, firenze!

8:00 - we're back.
a bit after shitting on jennifer anniston's boring dress or whatever, they interview her. she's pretty damn funny. she has an olde-timey newscaster voice that's pretty great.

she doesn't party.
they don't like action, and hob-knobbing.

8:02 - from anniston we move to garner, whose dress has a weird feathery back thing going on that we didn't realize earlier, still cool, but with a side of "wha?"

looks like a comfortable seat.
particularly for an event of this length.

bad joke.
drink.

8:03 - halle berry looks damn spiffy in a black and silver stripey affair.

8:04 - kristen chenoweth interviews adele. i'm usually pretty good with british accents, but i got no bloody clue whats going on here. it's pretty charming, really.

kristen chenoweth takes off her shoes and we learn she's an elf.

8:05 - george clooney has a crazy beard, and stacy kiebler is still with him? and looks great in some silver, deco looking thing? her hair is crazy good, and she's so tall.

hey, interview lady. don't adjust your hair with the hand you hold the mic with.

8:07 - woooow, the sound sucks during this part, crazy bad delay and echo, plus, there's a missed voice over by chenoweth, but hey, sandra bullock looks nice in a dark sparkly floor length number.

8:08 - commercial. drink

8:12 - back! this wee chenoweth lady is interviewing catwoman anne hathaway. they have a cute moment comparing dresses to moments.

her jewels are tiffany's.

anne didn't like her haircut in les miserables. it made her sad.

whoa, we're back to the oscar mystery dealy!!
next clue, it has magical powers.

anne guesses dorothy's slippers.
she's prooobably right.

holy shit! she is!

this lady is movie royalty.

kristen - are you going to be taking those home?
anne - can i?
kristen - the smithsonian would kills us
anne - the smithsonian always gets in the way!

oh, c'mon. catwoman could deal with that.

yo, it's okay. there's like, a USB stick or something

that erases your exist-meow.

8:15 - jamie foxx is here with his daugher. they both look fresh.
right! fuck. this dude's electro! yes!

8:16 - daniel day lewis is rocking a navy or indigo tux. slight alteration, but nifty.

8:18 - oh, isht. we're going inside.
whelp, kelly rowland reveals that jennifer lawrene was voted best dressed, but put in votes for charlize theron, kirsten stewart and halle berry - and for real? she's right.

8:19 - commercial.

drink!

8:21 - we're back! kristen is inside, interviewing dudes who won't interrupt each other. jinx.
drink!

8:22 - whelp, we cut to lara who makes no sense. anyway, she shows us oscars being polished and explains how winning works.

8:23 - renee zelwegger is another one of the ladies rockin' gold dress tonight. it looks good.

8:24 - oh, good! there's champagne in the tech truck and queen latifah on the stage.
she looks beautiful. sleek, fancy, classy, nice.

8:25 - oh, shishi - they're running the credits. the oscars are almost here.

drink up.

8:30 - so, here we go. as a point of contention, fuck seth mcfarlane. seriously. fuck this racist, sexist asshole of a douchebag ablist, homophobic prick. i cannot be asked to give a fuck what he does or says. but he did make tommy lee jones laugh. what a shock. he opened with a meme.

he can't really ride a laugh, can he. never been live?

oh, hey. this sound suuucks.

8:34 - oh, a rihanna joke? smooth, eh? do i really have to watch this after the walking dead?

...william shatner is interrupting the oscars as captain kirk?
what the fuck?

even he knows this sucks?

wow.
he's come back in time to stop macfarlane from destroying the academy awards?
almost cool.

the very next part ruins it.
this guy, he really is just a giant piece of shit, eh?

8:38 - at least helen hunt thinks this is stupid.

samuel l might too.

8:40 - at least channing tatum and charlize theron can dance, i guess.

8:41 - oh, good. sock puppets.

8:42 - okay, now jgl and harry potter are singing and dancing with ol' fuckface there.
this is, umm, well, crap.

8:46 - hey guys, did you know this is bad?

8:47 - okay, first award. octavia spencer is giving out actor in a supporting role.
cool. her dress is nifty. all these dudes have won before, yawn.

8:50 - aww, do the christoph waltz! he wins his second oscar for best supporting actor.

this dude is pretty awesome.

he thanks a lot of people. it's cute.

8:56 - ha! paul rudd and melissa mccarthy do a cute bit to present best animated short film. these two are great. i wish they were the hosts. they both look awesome, by the way.

ha! paperman wins!

best animated short film goes to paperman

8:55 - oh, hey. we're going to go liveblog the walking dead now.
i mean, we'll still be updating this, but for the next hour the party is going to be over there.

8:56 - cool! brave wins best animated feature!

9:00 - in here, life of pi picks up a couple of oscars, for both cinematography and visual effects.

9:05 - oh, hey, it's the avengers. sam jackson is fucking boss. these other guys? well they look nice.

except, hey, ruffalo. where'd the hair a-go?

anyway, anna karenina won the oscar for best costume design!

9:22 - it has come to our attention that les miserables has won the oscar for hair and makeup


9:24 - halle berry is here to introduce 50 years of sexism in british film bond movies, so that's fun.

9:37 - award update! Inocente has won the Oscar for best Documentary Short Subject.
Nice! Too bad Canadian short "Buzkashi Boys" didn't win

9:51 - Searching for Sugarman has won the Oscar for Best feature length Documentary.

9:55 - oh, hey, a "performance" by catherine zeta-jones. nice.

10:04 - oh, a les miserables live cast performance. interesting.
drink


10:11 - oh, great. mark wahlberg and this teddy-ruxpin-peter-griffin looking motherfucker is here. great.
they're giving away sound mixing, which i would love to get.

anyway, les miserables won that shit, and who's surprised? mixing a musical is way harder than mixing a regular movie.  especially with live singing.

heh, ironically, this segment, and show in general sounds like shit.

10:12 - holograms? great.
drink

10:17 - oh, whoa - zero dark thirty wins for sound editing - or wait - skyfall did? a TIE? A TIE IN THE OSCARS? MY LIFE IS A LIE!!!

i love you snape.

this is, regardless of how what you silly fucks think, a completely separate category than sound mixing. that is all. anyway, as much as i'm for like, parity and equality, i think the oscars are all about "best" no? how do you tie for best in an objective field? blah.

10:26 - christopher plummer is rocking an order of canada pin. represent!
drink

also, apparently amour has won the best foreign film oscar

10:27 - and now we're doing the best supporting actress award.

catwoman anne hathaway for her first oscar win.

10:30 - hey, umm, this seems good a time as any to point out that we're drunk and need dinner.
we'll be back soon!

10:40 - adele performed!  she is awesome!  hopefully she did not hurt herself due to improper vocal technique.  but still, very fun!

11:15 - we made it back in time for norah jones to perform - woot brown representation!

11:16 - adele has won best original song for skyfall  good for her. she cries and thanks her man. it's nice. we genuinely like adele.

11:18 - douchebag returns to throw to commercial.

11:22 - charlize theron is gorgeous. she and dustin hoffman present the oscar for adapted screenplay.

it is presented to the guy that adapted argo. surprise!


11:26 - oh, they stay up there for original screenplay

tarantino wins this for django. 

hey guys, maybe award black writers for black stories? an idea, just saying.

11:28 - commercial break? you should probably drink.

11:33 - jane fonda (in a cool ass 80's yellow dress) and michael douglas are here to throw some awards out. specifically? well, they're presenting achievement in directing. (did they change the name?)

This goes to Ang Lee for life of pi. This is his second Oscar. Congratulations, Ang.

good on him for thanking yann martel.

11:37 - cough - commercialz - cough - drink.

i appreciate this move they're rocking of using classic oscar winning music.

kristen stewart looks gorgeous, in pain and annoyed.

11:41 - Jean Dujardin is here to present best actress. Fun!

Jennifer Lawrence wins best actress! good for her!


oh no! she fell on the way!  and hugh jackman ran up to help her!  haha, oh dear!

"you guys are just standing 'cause i fell, and that's so nice of you"

such a sweet lady. good for her.

11:45 - seth macfarlane's intro for meryl streep is pretty spot on.
she's here for best actor.


hugh jackman best be winning - or denzel washington.

unfortunately america loves itself, and daniel day lewis wins for a movie that revises history rather disgustingly.

11:52 - jack nicholson is here, in all his drugged-up joker-y glory to present michelle obama who welcomes everyone to the white house, and goes on a little spiel.

her dress is great.

also, there is absolutely no tie between the US Government, The Military and Hollywood.

Zero Dark Thirty certainly will not win.

She tosses back to Jackers for the nominees.

11:55 - oh, hey surprise - Argo, the war movie without the torture and implicit murder by the current president, is the best picture. Good thing that it exists all nice and good for them to have win and everything.

 ergo, affleck gets his first oscar.

12:00 - some dickbag claiming to be a host throws to commercial. wtf?

12:01 - Kristin Chenoweth is back to tell us all about a fancy gold dress and people that didn't win with help from this asshole who's here "hosting". Hey, random idea. Maybe next year we could drop the "classless-fuckhead" routine and get an actual host? Who doesn't laugh about racism, sexism and rape? Yeah? 'cause that would be awesome.

12:02 - that's it for us, folks. thanks for coming by.

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The Walking Dead Season 3 LiveBlog! Episode 10: Home!

You're back!
You survived, good for you. You're doing a lot better than some of the chumps on this show.

Welcome back for another fanciful week of Walker-Geddon in the hills (plains) of Georgia, with the fine folk of The Walking Dead. Last week's episode "The Suicide King" offered up a lot of changes, and hopefully we'll see how these changes affect our characters in this week's episode, called "Home"

yeah, anytime i can put NIN in a post, i will. they have a song with the same name of an ep? boooooom

So, will the fine folks of Woodbury retaliate on Rick's Posse?

Will Ghost Lori be able to prevent Rick from killing teenage girls with machine guns? (man, he did that.)

How will the Whistlin' Dixons deal with brotherhood again so suddenly after all this time apart? And with their separate allegiances?

too much? not enough? let us know!

take off your shoes and coat and come on inside. we've got some drinks and snacks, and a whole bunch of walking dead ahead, so c'mon in.

8:30 - you're early, so you might have to amuse yourselves. hopefully you have more luck with that than carl.

is he trying to play risk?

8:45 - as per usual, you need refreshments during the walking dead. As such, we're having some tasty home-made bacon infused mac and cheese. During the episode? Our preferred beer will be James Ready 5.5 and our tea of choice will be Genmaicha from David's Tea.

9:00 - alright, here we go! another week, another gory, gross episode?
remember all that stuff that happened last week? well, they're trying to remind you. with clips of it.
rick was crazy, no?

9:00 - then we open up at the prison, ravens chirping in the background.

Rick is carrying around skids and scouting with binoculaurs.
Nothing but walkers and Michonne out there.
Michonne is living on the opposite side of the fence maybe?

Man, screw that. Oh, no, she's just outisde.

9:01 - whelp, then Rick sees Lori, all backless dressed up out in the fields.
He grabs a gun to go get her, lush ghost pads playing in the background.

9:02 - Lori might be standing at her own grave in her fairly sexy wedding dress.
Rick gets close to her, and obviously she's not there, so the camera gets all spinny, to imply his wackiness.

9:03 - oh, good - now Lori's out on the other side of the fence.
Naturally, Rick runs past Michonne, opens both gates (leaving them open) and chases ghost Lori.
Luckily Michonne is there to close his gates.

What, was this dude raised in a barn?

oh, right.

9:04 - At a creek, Rick meets up with Ghost Lori.
She touches his face, sorta, and he tries not to look at her boobs, it seems?
More crows and Ravens caw as Michonne looks on, realizing how whacked Rick is.

Michonne's wardrobe is tight.  Seriously coveting parts of it now.
The music there was pretty out of normal Walking Dead scope. Not the typical minor key scariness.  Well, until the familiar fugue comes in.

commercial!

9:07 - back at Woodbury's wall of tires.

ooh, that was an establishing shot.

we're actually with The Gov and Andrea. Well, The Gov has called on Andrea.

"That was umm, that was quite a speech you gave them. Exactly what these people needed to hear."

"What about the Prison," Andrea wants to know.

"While the leave us alone, nothing."

"So no retaliation?"

Why does Andrea buy any of this?  I honestly don't understand her at all.
The Governor says he won't attack the Prison, then goes on about how he's screwed up Woodbury and isn't fit to lead. He says Andrea is.
oh.  so this is why Andrea is still listening?

(link)

"So you're abdicating me?" says Andrea.

Well, that's fitting sorta, with the Pope and all. He's Jackson Lake, he's the Governor, he's the Pope, damn.  Fleeing upon the evidence of horrible corruption, and whatnot.

9:09 - the Gov goes on to beg Andrea to stay, because he and these people need her.
It's pretty sappy, and who seriously trusts this dude.

Hey, is there like, a barber in Woodbury?

9:10 - We're out in the woods with the Whistlin' Dixons.

"patience little brother, sooner or later a squirrel will cross your path."

Daryl tells Merle that's not enough, and suggests looting or fishing.
Merle is paranoid and thinks Daryl is trying to lead him back to the prison.
Daryl kinda is.

"Everyone will get used to each other."

damn, Reedus is a good actor.  His body language and demeanor around Merle are both very impressive.  Also, Merle is super-gross.

9:11 - Merle tells Daryl his friends are probably dead, and that the Governor has offed them all already.
Daryl spits as they go to start some fishing.

Reedus!

9:11 - okay, back at the Prison, Glenn and Carl are mapping out breaches in the Prison, planning security.

"If walkers just waltzed  in, armed men would have no problems."

Becky says they might leave them alone. Who knows?

Michonne finally speaks!

"He had fishtanks full of heads. Humans and walkers..."

Michonne knows he'll come for them. Glenn wants to go for the Governor.

"Rick would never allow this," Hershel tells him.

Glenn says Rick isn't fit to judge.  And I mean...who can argue with that?  Even before Rick started hallucinating on the regular, his track record was pretty dismal.

Hershel advocates leaving, but Glenn points out that Hershel is now down a leg, and the group is now up a baby. Maggie gets upset and takes off, upset with what Glenn's become.

Glenn decides they'll stay and defend.
The group is breaking down sans leadership. It's not good, but Glenn is trying

9:14 - back at Woodbury with Milton and The Gov.
Milton is zoned out at his desk with the Gov comes in. He's using alpha waves to induce a meditative state 'cause he can't sleep. Interesting.

"You've been invaluable," Gov says. "Do you intend to stay?"

"Leaving's never crossed my mind."

"Good, because I count on you. Not just for your expertise, but because I consider you a friend."

Gov goes on to play Milton like a fiddle, about the men he's lost, and what they'd give for him.

He tells Milton he's not sure where Andrea's loyalty lies, asks Milton to keep an eye on her.

Milton obviously agrees as we go to commercialz.

9:20 - on the wall at Woodbury, Andrea wants to know where Martinez is. Karen on the wall gives her sass. She doesn't know anything.

Gee. Did these guys go to the prison?

Andrea calls out to Milton, and there's a terrible random echo.  Aren't they supposed to be outside?

Andrea wants to know where the Gov is.

"He's out on a run," Milton says.

"Is that a question or an answer," Andrea says.

Milton claims that the Gov is out getting supplies.

"...getting supplies!"

dr. quinn came here for this, so.

(link)

Hmm, not suspicious at all.

9:21 - back that the Prison, they're having more difficulty keeping walkers at bay in the Prison, let alone  keeping attackers at bay. The group is scared of the fence giving way, hordes coming, or the Gov.

Glenn wants to check the far side of the prison, take a car with him. Axel offers to go with him, but he wants Maggie. Hershel asks if he thinks she's up for that.  I think that an important person is missing from this conversation.  Who could it be?

9:22 - Glenn's in Maggie's cell, telling her they need to find out how the walkers are getting into the tombs. Then he gets all douchey about Maggie's situation.

"Maggie we need to talk about this."
"I do, or you do?" Maggie asks.

She goes on to explain what happened to her to Glenn...

"Did he," Glenn almost asks.

Maggie can use words, so she goes on. "Rape me? No. No. Do you feel better? I had a choice, either I take of my shirt or he'd take off your hand."

She continues describing her experience; it is well-performed, and triggering enough that I'm going to stop trying to re-cap it.

Glenn apologizes and she shoves him. Telling him to go, "'cause he got [his] answer."

Good stuff.

9:24 - Axel and Carol are out in the yard reinforcing fences.
Axel is scared of guns and is also gross.

apparently he robbed a gas station with a toy gun.

"You said Oscar was the thief, and you were in here for pharmaceuticals."

Carol's smooth, and Axel is a bit of a quick talker, I think. Claims the cops found his brother's gun and not his. Claims he doesn't even know how to use a gun.

Carol starts showing him the basics of his piece.

"It's fully loaded," she says pulling out the magazine. "Let's hope it stays that way."

Axel tells her she's quite the lady, and they share a moment before we're back to the Dixons.  My reaction to this was basically: Carol, no!  Absolutely be flattered by his compliments, as you deserve all that and more - but please don't do anything stupid.  You've only just come back to us!

9:26 - "You know what I think? I may have lost my hand, but you lost your sense of direction."

Things are getting tense with the boys as they venture through the woods.

Daryl hears some noises, and they've come upon some people with a situation.

A group of people is stuck up on a bridge with walkers on them.

"Jump," Merle says, as Daryl goes to help. Merle laments this decision, because these people "ain't cooked me a meal..." or blah blah.

Daryl's running to help as commercials come.

9:30 - back on the bridge some spanish speaking people are fending off a small horde with but one gun. Daryl gets in there crossbowing walkers and stabbing others with the spent bolts, reloading and repeating. It turns out these men are defending a lady and her baby in a car. A walker is getting in there with the lady, but Daryl smashes its skull in the trunk.

9:32 - Merle makes a good shot to give Daryl an assist, who then goes back to clearning the bridge almost single handedly, now with his knife.

With the last walker dispatched, he gives the man an eye and goes to check on the woman.

Merle however is there, gun in hand threatening everyone.

There's a bit of a language barrier, to which Merle reacts with his particular blend of violent, racist glee and opportunism.

"Let 'em go," Daryl tells Merle.

"The least the can do is give us an enchilada or something," Merle tells him, and goes on to try to raid the peoples' shit.

9:33 - Daryl draws his bow on Merle - tells him to get out of the car.
Daryl tells the people to get in their car and go, and they do, running over heads and parts the whole way.

9:34 - the brothers angrily cross the bridge, Daryl retrieving more bolts.  We sure hope he attempts to clean them before shooting any potential food.

9:34 - Merle is pissed about Daryl helping people, asking if Rick taught him to help. Daryl says he helped because there was a baby. They start fighting about allegiances and what happened in Atlanta

"I didn't cut your hand off, you did. You were well on the way on to it before they locked you up there."

There's a bunch more arguing before "a bomb" is dropped that the brothers were planning on robbing the original camp outside Atlanta?

Merle attacks Daryl, ripping his shirt off to reveal a bunch of scars. There's some slightly veiled discussion about childhood abuse, and how Merle got out before it started with him.

"If I knew that I would have killed him," he tells Daryl.

Daryl decides he's going back, but Merle tries to stop him.

"I can't go with you. I tried to kill that black bitch. I almost killed the chinese kid."

"He's Korean," Daryl responds.

"Whatever," Merle says.

Actually a pretty great call-back to season one.

(link)

Daryl tells him that he's not leaving, Merle is, and takes off.

commercial-time.

9:41 - outside the Prison, Hershel is chasing after Glenn.

"You're not going back to Woodbury, are you?" He asks Glenn.

Glenn claims he's not. Hershel says he can't head out on his own.

"You went out on a formula run, and got the crap kicked out of you, and you had Maggie with you."

Hershel tells Glenn that he can't go on with this rage, that it'll kill him.

Glenn says that with Rick in "crazy-town" he's the next on charge.

9:42 - Glenn drives off and Carl closes the gate after him.

9:43 - Hershel looks to Rick wandering around outside the fence I think?

9:43 - Becky and Maggie have a scene taking care of little Asskicker.
The music is decidedly soft again. Becky is worried about Maggie and doesn't know how to show it.
They have a nice sisterly moment ultimately though.

The Greene's are so lucky to have their family mostly intact.

9:44 - Rick is wandering around out on the outskirts near the fence, with Hershel calling his name.

9:45 - Rick approaches Hershel, looking like a crazy cat, as per usual.

"You know I wouldn't have hobbled all the way down here if it wasn't important. Are you coming back soon? Glenn's on a warpath, he can't fill your boots. I'm afraid he's reckless. We need you."

"Well, if you're so worried about him, you lead"

whoa. Hershel asks him what he's doing out there.

"umm, I'm doing. I've got... stuff."

Rick shakes his head, but goes on the explain.

"I saw something."

He approaches the fence.

"Lori. I saw Lori. I'm seeing Lori. Look, I know it's not really her. But there's got to be a reason. It's got to mean something."

"Was it her on the phone?"

"Yeah, Shane too. And the town."

"Do you see them now?" Hershel asks.  "You're looking for them?"

Rick says he's just waiting. Because in time it'll make sense.

9:47 - "Rick, c'mon in. You need rest. It's not safe out here."

"I cant'. I can't. I can't," Rick says and takes off.

9:48 - Michonne watches all that from a distance.

Axel flirts with Carol.

He notes that Rick's losing it. He's seen plenty of dudes crack, but Prison worked for him.

"life was more simple."

"didn't you miss your brother?" Carol asks him.

"hell, no, son of a bitch had a money problem. in that he didn't lend me any."

Axel starts talking some more, but then he gets shot in the head.
Carl looks hilarious as he realizes this. We got reaction shots from everyone,
and then a look at the Gov, who's holding a smoking gun.

Glad his depth perception isn't too affected.  Except that I hate him.

Anyway, it was obvious that this was Axel's last episode, because they were doing as much as they could to humanize him and complete his face turn before that bullet went through his cranium. Cool to see that the writers were so glad how well this worked for T-Dog's death, and decided to reuse it as a result.

commercials, of course.

9:52 - back!

at the Prison, Rick and everyone is getting blasted at!
Carol covers herself with Axel.

Rick and Michonne begin returning fire, but they're actively surrounded.

Everyone has taken cover, and the Governor laughs and blasts some warning shots.

9:54 - Maggie comes out with reinforcement weapons.

Carol's up and armed now.

Michonne misses the Gov narrowly and he barely flinches.

The sound of a car rings out in the distance.
A large truck breaches the front gate of the Prison.

The governor is laughing. He loves this shit. Walker bombing and shooting into the air.

9:55 - everyone lies in wait as the engine lies idling in the middle of the yard.
a gate swings down on the back of the truck and a bunch of Walkers jump out.

Poor  Hershel is right in the line of sight of the loose walkers.

9:56 - A woman covered in protective gear gets out of the van and starts blasting, and gunfire rings out with Rick taking out Walkers, Hershel capping walkers, Maggie taking down Woodburians and the Governor (and presumably some cronies) taking off in their vehicle down the street, passing a returning Glenn on the way down... The governor left? Why? Drop a Walker bomb and leave? That's so Doctor Evil.

next there'll be walkers with frickin' lasers on their heads.

9:57 - Rick is cornered on the fence by about ten Walkers, and one of their skulls is suddenly pierced by an arrow! Daryl AND Merle are there!

Michonne is decapitating fuckers left and right.  We were kind of hoping she'd be the one to save Rick, so he'd finally shut up about her being a liability already.
Merle and Daryl and Rick smash.

The gates are closed, and the Prison may have gotten the situation under control.

9:59 - Daryl and Rick share a cute nod, assessing the situation at hand.

Rick, Daryl and Merle are trapped between the outer yard and the prison. This area is riddled with zombies. Rick looks crazy, and we cut to clips from next week.

10:00 - holy shit, that was one of the better episodes of this season.  Very fast-paced, and has me impatient for the next episode for the first time in almost years.  Hooray?

hooray!

(link)

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The Walking Dead Season 3 LiveBlog! Episode 9: The Suicide King

Welcome back!
Miss us?

Nah, probably not - but we bet you missed The Walking Dead. We also bet you're wicked excited about tonight's episode, "The Suicide King". We advise you hit the jump, and get started. We've prepped a bit of a preview for you.

keep calm, drink on.

8:00


Two months ago we entered the show's brief holiday-hiatus period, so that children and adults alike could eat turkey and open presents without being concerned about the inhabitants of Woodbury, or the Prison, and their plight in the time of zombies walkers.

This first half-season has seen quite a dynamic change to the show.

Lots of characters of been introduced: Michonne and her pets, The Governor and his daughter,  Axel and Oscar.

Lots of characters have been lost: Tomas and some other guys Rick kills, The Governor's Daughter Penny, T-Dog, and Lori

(source)

Rick's group has been shaped heavily by the impact of the last while. With the addition of Hershel's family (and the subtraction of his leg) Lori and T-Dog's deaths take on a new light, as new relationships and roles are forged for characters. Carl's got a little sister now, and has grown up a lot.

he's earned a whole +11 melee! don't forget +2 lurk

this kid must rule myspace

his dad Rick, on the other hand, has gone the complete opposite direction. After killing his best friend and appointing himself "Ricktator" of the group, Rick has taken every possible opportunity to distance himself from his family, and group, and further descend into darkness. Oh, and he was an outright cock to Lori before she died.

ain't that the truth

(source)

On the other side of all the baby birthing and character dying, we've got this place called Woodbury. Andrea's there. Well, so are Glenn and Maggie. Oh, and Merle. And Daryl. Yeah, it's conveniently close to the prison, or something. Anyway, this is like some sort of 50's dystopian future lead by an evil dude known as The Governor who has many secrets and experiments on many creepers (that's what they call walkers). He's also a bit of a jerkwad, but in good news has recently lost an eye (and zombie daughter) at the hands of Michonne.

oh, hey - there's them now!

So where did we leave off last?

Well, good ol' Michonne there has met up with Rick and his group, alerting them to the existence of The Governor and Woodbury. This leads to Rick assembling a crew with Michonne (who they don't trust, 'cause... racism?) to go raid Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie who were captured by Merle. This fails pretty badly, and they end up losing Daryl as well. 

Over at the Prison, a wild group of survivors has appeared, led by Tyrese, and new and improved ADULT Carl has chosen to grant them sanctuary.

Lots of craziness afoot - who knows what's about to happen?

8:30 - you guys!!  things are getting so close now!!

this seems as good a time as any to note that tonight's tipsy liveblog is being brought to you by heineken lager, mill street coffee porter, and multiple varieties of david's tea (as he or she who is not currently responsible for the blogging shall brew copious pots of deliciousness).

8:50 - ten more minutes!  party time!

(link)

9:00 - so, obviously they're going to remind us of everything that happened up to this point. sort of like we did above. it's pretty neat, really. read along with our recap, and it'll be cool, y'dig?

...previously on AMC's The Walking Dead.

Montage!

9:01 - so, it appears as though Daryl and Merle have to fight?

"You wanted your brother, you got him." - The Governor.

We pan in, and Daryl's still bound, ol' Gov stalking about like a warlord.

Merle and Daryl exchange a glance.

Andrea makes a run for them, but is held back.

"I asked you where your loyalties lie. Well prove it. Prove it to us all. Brother against brother. Winner goes free."

The sadistic laugther of the audience is gross.

Andrea begs Phillip to stop things.

Merle and Daryl exchange a glance.

Merle starts a rant about proving his royalty, "Y'all know me" then suckers Daryl, and starts booting him.

9:03 - Some jerks bring in walkers to complicate things.

9:04 - During a choking match:

"Do you really think this asshole's going to let you go?" Daryl asks.

"Just follow me lead, little brother"

Merle and Daryl start walker-smashing as Andrea continues to plead with The Gov.

Suddenly someone's sniping Walkers.

It's Maggie.

Rick and Company are storming Wrestlemania with automatics.

Daryl looks to get out, while Merle smashes up spme walkers.

The Gov stalks about with his gun as citizens flee - killing walkers in his wake.

Andrea picks up a gun.

Daryl saves children and steals a crossbow from some guy.

He and Daryl make a run for it.

The Gov walks up to the foreground menacingly as some vintage Bear McCreary surges up.

Credits

9:09 - we're back. Merle is leading the way.

"you're not going anywhere with us." Rick tells him.

Merle asks if he wants to do this now and carries on.

they get out beyond the gates, and merle is smashing skulls, and Andrea capping them.

Andrea is left behind. 

anyway, as Rick's group gets away, they've left a breach in the outer wall.

9:10 - the group meets up with Glenn and Michonne in the morning.

everyone freaks out when Merle shows up, all guns drawn.

Michonne and Glenn are pissed.

9:10 - Merle makes some pretty gross comments about Andrea and the Governor. 

Rick finds out Michonne knows Andrea.

Merle continues his gross racist, homophobic rhetoric, and Daryl tells him to shut up.

the whole group is a little upset hearing about Andrea's plight.

Merle starts razzing the group, and after being told to shut up by nearly everyone, Rick knocks him out.

Daryl and Rick exchange a glance, and Daryl mutters "Asshole."  but about/to whom?

9:12 - back at the prison, Hershel is stitching up tyrese, but they're not bonding.

they do discuss the baby and her age though, as beth carries her around.

oooh, snap. Tyrese's group thinks Beth is the mother, then they figure it out quick.

9:13 - "man, you people have been through the mill," Tyrese says.

"haven't we all?" Hershel asks.

Tyrese and his wife, Sasha,  discuss how hard it's getting out there, and tell a bit about their origins. their group was huge. they were as big as 25 not too long ago. they were overrun though.

9:14 - the groups mingle a little better now.

Tyrese jokes "i must be the first brother to break into prison"

from the background, Axel chimes in with "i must be the first white guy who doesn't want to break out."  shut up, Axel!  no one cares about your story.

despite their heartwarming moments, Hershel tells Tyrese of their close-knit group, and that he shouldn't get comfortable.

Tyrese pleads their case, but hershel leaves on his crutches.

9:15 - back on the road, Rick and the mini-group are chatting up a strategy.

they decide Merle is a crazy racist asshole.

...but so is Daryl.

they argue how they can keep "the last samurai" (Michonne) and not Merle.

there's a bunch of talk about family, and life after, and Daryl throws down the gauntlet.

he'll leave with Merle if they're not letting him come.

"what do you want us to tell Carol?" Glenn asks.  Daryl says she'll understand.  He is probably wrong.

"say goodbye to your pop for me," Daryl tells Maggie as he walks away.

surprisingly, rick follows him along, trying to get him to stay.

"no him, no me. that's all i can say. take care of yourself. take care of Little Asskicker, and Carl. that's one tough kid." Daryl exchances one last glance with Rick while unloading his supplies from the truck, then goes off with his brother into the woods.

9:18 - Rick's pissed and takes it out on Michonne.

"we patch you up, and you are gone," he tells her.

why does she never speak?

they get in a super-clean, fancy-ass car, then drive away. what the hell, where do they wash this business these days? at the prison?

commercialz.

9:22 - back at the prison, Tyrese's group prepares to bury... Donna?

They're in the centre of the cellblocks, where Rick's group busted in.

one of their men suggests they overtake Carl and Carol on patrol.

"we do it quick, we'll get their weapons."

Tyrese argues against it.

"This'll be easy. A little kid, a woman, a baby and an old man."

"You gonna smash the baby's head with a rock?" Tyrese is hard.

His group is rough.

As things get heated Axel and Beth show up to provide them tools to bury their dead.

...why are they together?! this is uncool.

Anyway, these two offer help, which is hilarious, then head out.

Tyrese and Sasha provide quite the resolve as the scene cuts.

9:24 - Rick and Glenn come upon a road reef with a truck in it.

They go to move the truck and clear the scene, but there's a walker. Glenn umm, Glenn goes crazy on it, as he has of late, kicking its head properly in.

Rick goes to comfort Glenn, but Glenn is pissed that Rick didn't kill the Governor, went back to get Daryl, and let Daryl walk.

Glenn is awesome, but Maggie wants him to let it go.

This moment is sweet, but there are Walkers in the background.

"Daryl had his reasons."

"You keep telling yourself that," Glenn says.

Rick freaks out.

"This is the hand we've been dealt!"...hmm. foreshadowing?

walkers are all over the background.

9:26 - back at Woodbury Milton and Andrea discuss how their shit is going to hell. People are trying to leave Woodbury en masse. Woodbury officials are blocking the wall though, and things are getting super tense. One one side walkers are amassing, and on the other a bunch of people want to leave.

Andrea pleads with people to stay. This scene is awesome.

Very The Stand to me.

Some guy's blowing his horn, drawing walkers and driving one of the security guys crazy.

He drags the hornblower from the wall.

The guy, Hernandez wants to know where the Governor is.

9:28 - screams ring out.

a Walker's gotten in and is feeding on someone. There are several behind him.

Andrea goes in to clean up, and runs out of bullets. She reloads, but it's too late.

The citizens up Woodbury gather around the wounded man.

"Do something," they ask Andrea. "Help him," they plead.

The Governor walks out from his apartment, and up to the bitten dying man.

He shoots him in the head and returns indoors, not giving anyone a glance.

  Jackson Lake, ladies and gentleman!  He is, after all, the oncoming storm.

(link)

That's the Governor we've been looking for.

Commercials.

9:33 - quiet times at the prison.

"it's so quiet," Carol tells Carl.

"it's easy to forget how loud the world used to be," they go on to complain about noise pollution.

"what i wouldn't give for the sweet sound of a jumbo jet," she says.

"it'd be even sweeter if we were all on it," carl tells her.

there's a pause, carl walks away.

"your mom was so proud of you."

"for what, being mean to her?"

Carol tells him not to think about it, but Carl replies that it's all he thinks about.  it's really touching, actually...but because i'm an asshole, i just wish he'd take off that stupid hat.

they're interrupted by Rick's group returning.  Carl's gratitude on seeing their return is also touching!  nice work, kiddo!

Rick gets out to hug Carl, and Maggie drives the car up.

Carol asks about Daryl.

When Rick explains, she seems confused. "They left? Daryl left? He's gone? Is he coming back?"

Rick fucked up by telling her. Oh, and there are Walkers everywhere. Good thing the Prison has two layers of gates, and they walk back to the prison together.

9:36 - at the Governor's house. Andrea confronts him about what he's done, killing that man in front of those people.

"Those people are scared," she tells him.

"Those people have had it easy," he responds. "Barbeques and picnics. That ends now."

uh...Governor?  You are aware that you were the one throwing the barbecues and picnics?

Governor goes on to explain that they're at war now. They're at war with Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, all of them.

"My friends are alive and we're shooting at them?!" Andrea cries.

"Your friends killed six people," The Governor explains. Then names them.

Andrea's pissed because the Governor kept this information from her while they were boning. She has a point. The Governor tells her she's just a visitor. She's in the middle of refuting that when Milton comes to the door.

"The whole town is out on the street. It could get ugly again."

9:38 - Hershel and Beth meet up with the rest of the group, there are hugs, and odd kisses to Rick's cheek. Maggie and Beth go inside, and Hershel stays to talk to Rick. Rick quickly ascertains something is wrong. It's not the baby, so what is it?

Inside, Carl is watching over the new gang with a gun.

Hersel leads Rick in, all crutched up.

9:39 - "Not exactly a chatterbox, is he?" Tyrese's group notes of Carl (or possibly Rick).

9:40 - Beth hands Little Asskicker (who has an adorably labeled bassinet - though i believe it says "Lil," and not "Little") to Rick, noting she has Lori's eyes. The baby starts crying and Rick starts losing his shit. 

Commercial

9:45 - back at Woodbury, Milton is addressing the audience.

People want to know about the Governor. They want answers.

Andrea steps in.

"you're right. everyone of us has suffered. we don't even have funerals any more because the death never stops. we're never going to be the same, ever. so what do we do? we work together, and we rebuild..."

obviously the Gov is listening to all of this.

Andrea tells them all that "years from now, when they write about this plague, the history books? They'll say that Woodbury perservered."

the finger thing means the taxes!

9:46 - at the Prison, Beth and Carol chat about babies and the previous life.

Beth always wanted a child.

This has worked out pretty well I guess.

"She wouldn't have made it if Daryl weren't here. He couldn't stand to lose anyone else," Beth says.

Carol explains to Beth a little bit of how Merle works, then expresses sympathy with Daryl as an abuse survivor. It's sweet.  But way too expository...I wish they had trusted the first line of dialogue and her discussions of her own experience to stand on their own!  It was a very powerful scene.

Beth apologizes to Carol about Daryl.

"Don't be," she says "he has his code. The world needs people like that."

Then they place little Asskicker in a custom bassonette. It's all super cute.

9:48 - Hershel's looking over Glenn. They start talking about what happened and Maggie takes off.

"You two alright," Hershel inquires of Glenn. Silence

"Thanks for looking out for her."

Hershel goes off to check on Maggie as Glenn kinda stares.

Aww.  He is rightfully traumatized, but his attempts to take ownership over Maggie's experience is obviously driving a wedge between the two of them.  I'm impressed by this nuanced portrayal!

Hershel goes on to say he couldn't stand to lose Glenn.

"You're like my own son, Glenn."

Aww, Hershel.

9:50 - He goes to check on Maggie who's cleaning up.

He doesn't pull many punches.

"You two seem to be holding something back, you want to tell me what happened? I rest easy knowing you can handle yourself. You've got your mothers spirit. And her stubborness... You hungry?"

"No," she says.

"Don't disappear on me," he asks of her, and there's a sweet embrace and awesome shot in a cell.  Hershel really gives the sense that he is willing to be there for Maggie regardless of whether or not she chooses to share her trauma with him.  Have we mentioned how much we are loving Hershel lately?

Then we go to commercials, and it gets glitchy as shit, which we love, and then Kevin Smith and Steve Yeun talk and shiiit. Talking Dead, it's soon.

9:55 - back in the prison, Rick's looking all weird and Hershel is inspecting Michonne. He wants to know how long before Michonne can leave...

"Couple of days, if she's up" Hershel says.

Rick locks her up... Like father like son.

9:56 - In the cell block Rick's group discusses what will happen with the Governor, and how he may respond.

"We could use some reinforcements," Hershel says.

Cut to Tyrese's group being introduced to Rick... There are some weird vantage points/camera shots in this one.

"How'd you get in?" Rick wants to know.

Tyrese explains what happened to them.

Rick gets pretty pissed at Carl for letting them in.

"I'm sorry about your friend," Rick tells them. "We know what that's like."

Tyrese offers to take care of their own. Work hard, get their own food, help with problems with other groups?

"Please? It's like ten little indians out there," Sasha says. Great, more racism.  Americana!

Rick cites Oscar, and Andrew, and Tomas.

"I can't be responsible," Rick tells them.

"If you turn us out, you are responsible," Tyrese tells him.

9:58 - Hershel calls Rick aside. He tells Rick they owe them their lives, and are super thankful...

"and I'm telling you, Rick, you're wrong on this. You have to start giving people a chance."

9:59 - Rick looks about, shaking his head, and pondering. He looks up above and sees a shadowy figure on the catwalks above. This explains that weird shot from earlier. It's Lori? It's a woman in a fancy ass wedding gown. He walks up and starts addressing it.

"Wh... why are you here? What do you want from me? Get out! Get out! You don't belong here. Get it!"

Rick starts losing it...Like, proper Rick is effed losing it, and Glenn ushers the new group out, presumably for their safety. Nuts Rick is Nuts. Ugly shot for the ending.  Good episode.  Yes.

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